LOVE LANGUAGES

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First of all the word language is a means of communication between a group of persons or a community while love is a strong feeling of affection between two persons ( this definition is for the sake of this teaching). Therefore one can say that a love language would be a means of communicating strong feelings of affection between two persons. It has been discovered that everyone has a love language ( some could have more than one) which the lame man would call a “soft spot” and in order to express love to individuals effectively we need to know their love language in order to really get them to feel the love we are trying to get to them.
   In marriages today the find couples who are frustrated because they no longer feel loved by their spouse and even when they try showing love they don’t get appreciated. This is because a Chinese man saying I love you to an Igbo woman he loves so much, even though it is said from a genuine heart , will never get a thank you because she simply doesn’t understand the language. We find people trying to express love to their spouse in their own love language(unknown to them) and expecting a thank you and when they don’t they are usually frustrated. So we all need to know our love languages and that of our spouses for effective love communication.

There are five love languages namely;
Acts of service
Receiving gifts
Physical touch
Words of affirmation
Quality time

Everyone falls into one of these categories and some even mor than one so let’s take time to examine everyone of them:
Acts of service
Just like the name goes it entails assisting and helping out with chores, or any jobs left undone. A person whose love language is acts of service is one who love is best communicated to when things are done for him or her. For a lady whose love language is acts of service, helping around the house, cleaning the dishes, assisting with laundry and so on is what “turns her on”. Just by helping her with the dishes she sees you as the most amazing person in the world and “ the perfect man for her”.

Receiving gifts
 A person who receiving gifts is his or her love language gets so affectionate with one who goes out and comes back with something as little as a stick sweet because to her it means you thought of her while you where away.To you who it’s not it really doesn't matter but to them that’s how they understand that you love them.You see some ladies that get to complain when their husband goes out and comes back with nothing. He is saying to himself “what’s so special about the biscuits,” “I got her some yesterday”, but he forgets that it’s not about the biscuits but the emotions behind the biscuits. Most times they don’t even crave for big things, the little things are fine because it’s not really about the gifts but the emotion, the love they feel and receive when you get them these things. There is a difference between a lady whose love language is receiving gifts and one who is greedy and just desires gifts:
The latter is never satisfied with what she is got especially when they are small but the former is always satisfied because it’s beyond the gifts.

Physical touch
We most times mistake this for casual sex but it’s beyond that. It goes down to even the little kisses that happens when I step in the house and also another when I come into kitchen to get something. It even revolves round the rest of my hand on her shoulder when I come into the house and find her doing the laundry. Sex is a general game for everyone but for the people whose love language is physical touch is more than just sex. It’s heaven for them and they don’t rush it. The enjoy foreplay  before sex a lot. For these set of persons, rubbing their hands could send a signal. They are not sex addicts but they love everything that leads to sex.

Words of affirmation
These are words of appreciation, compliments and even encouragement. Persons whose love language is words of affirmation receive love in immense by simple words of compliments said to him or her. Words like “I love you”, “Thank you”, “well done” e.t.c really gets to them. When you see a lady complaining that the husband hardly notice her or say sweet words to her, it may not be that the man actually ignores her but because he never gets to compliment her or reassure her love with words then he is at fault. Little things like that really matter to them because that her primary way of receiving love. So when you buy her gifts but didn't compliment her gown, you find her complaining don’t say “you complain too much”, “be appreciative of the one I did”. It’s not her fault your gesture only sounds like Greek to her love language.

Quality time
When we say quality time we are not referring to hours spent together we are referring to heartfelt communication with no interruptions. Spending quality has nothing to do with the duration but all that is done in whatever time is shared. Persons whose love language is quality time always look forward to special moments together, activities that can be done together, place to go together, e.t.c. They value every moments that can be spent with their, not just starring at each other but have a great time with each other.

Some persons may have more than one love language but every one has a primary making the others secondary. When we get to know our partners love language it will help us keep their love tank full, saves us from getting frustrated when expressing love because we would be speaking their language.

For more information get “The five love languages” by GARY CHAPMAN

#Love is beautiful when expressed in the right language
# Phavie loves you

#Lovinglife360

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